The Adventures Of Scout The Cat-Dog: “I Hate My Voice” And Other Ruminations. ..

Brought to you in part by Lifts West Hotel And Condominium in Red River, New Mexico. Raiderland’s Home Away From Home!

Scout is Hyatt’s cat. He is well know for thinking of himself as a “Cat-Dog”, trying hard to fit in with the other dogs on the farm. Scout gets on the Old Man’s writing box from time to time to send you his columns.

I hate my voice.

I hate the way I sound when I try to talk to the Nice Lady or the Young Man. Even on the rare occasions I have to say something to the Old Man here at my house I just hate my voice. It does not sound like me. It dos not sound like a proper Cat-Dog should sound.

I sound like a squeaky toy.

It’s embarrassing. I can see when I try to talk the Dog-Cats looking at me funny. Saaaayyyydeeee and Innnnndeeeee ( Hey, that’s how the people here call them, don’t ask me, I didn’t name them that…) both laugh at my voice. I know it.

The other day I was going to tell the Nice Lady that I was hungry and needed some more food. I was going to do it just like the Dog-Cats do. They’re very forceful. Attention getting. If they want something, you’ll know it.

So there I stood, right there in the middle of the room with the big talking picture-box they stare at on the wall. I was gonna let them have it! I roared.

The sound that came out sounded like the air being let out of a ballon. I was so sad.

One of the Dog-Cats even came up to me to see if I’d gotten stepped on by the Young Man who sometimes doesn’t see me when he’s carrying pizza to his room. (his room has really interesting smells and I like it in there!)

So there I sat, trying to figure out how to sound like I feel like I should sound. I am nearly a year old they said. I don’t know what a year is, but I know I shouldn’t sound like a toy mouse.

I’m wondering if I can take some sort of voice lesson. I’d sign-up for some on the writing-box the Old Guy uses to talk to you guys but my search skills are not very good. I just kinda hit buttons and he picks me up and quickly gets me away from the writing-box. He doesn’t seem to trust me.

So for now, I’m kinda limited.

I was trying to get Saaaaayyyyydeeee to speak up for me the other day, but she pretended she didn’t know what I was saying and she faked like she was taking a nap. She does that a lot.

I have figured out though that if I make the purring sound the Nice Lady likes me to make I can usually get a treat or something, so I got that going for me. Still, I just wish I could sound like I feel. I feel like a Big Cat-Dog.

Maybe when I am two years old, whatever that means, I’ll get to sound like a real Cat-Dog.

Thanks for reading my column. I just realized there some more moths still flopping around the house. I have to get to work.

– Scout, The Cat-Dog