No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
A certain young man was driving down a rural highway at night. The weather was simply awful, with a cold, stinging rain accompanied by wind-driven sleet. He was glad that he had left work early enough to make it to town before the roads iced up.
As he neared a country bus stop, he noticed that there were three people huddled there. Obviously they hadn’t read the weather forecast, as they were all garbed in thin little sweaters. Surely, he thought, I can be of some help here, so he pulled to a stop and exited his car. Right away he observed that the three people consisted of a former best friend from high school days, a very fragile-looking elderly man, and the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She was the incarnation of the girl of his dreams, and he was instantly smitten.
But what to do now? His car was just an old two-seat jalopy, and he had to make a decision quickly. He was already starting to feel cold and wet himself. Calling on his lifelong feelings of compassion, his mind spinning at warp speed in the face of this dilemma, he had a moment of blinding clarity. So he fished the car keys out of his pocket, handed them to his friend, and asked him to drive the older man to a hospital, as the poor gentleman was looking very weak. Then he retrieved his old hunting jacket from the car and wrapped it around the beautiful young woman. They would wait together for the bus to arrive, and in the meantime he had her undivided attention. Boy, was it a good feeling when a plan came together.
But tarry a bit. The best laid plans of mice and men “gang oft aglee.” Thus spake Wee Bobby Burns, and his words were to be prophetic. Remember the friend driving our Good Samaritan’s car? Well, on the way to town he could see that the elderly passenger was beginning to choke and gasp. He would need to get him to an E.R. post haste, so he accelerated and was soon traveling well over the speed limit. Approaching a sharp curve on the slick road just outside the town, he skidded off the roadway and into a bar ditch, where the car went sideways and did the old maneuver called a “whifferdill.” They wound up inverted, as the old car gasped its last with the old man not far behind it. A passerby had seen the whole thing, and immediately called 9-1-1 on his cell phone. EMS was soon on the spot, and the day was saved for both driver and passenger. All’s well that ends well, goes another old bromide. But not to be, in this case. Did I mention that Our Hero’s car was uninsured? And that the EMS bill alone was going to be $500? And that the old man would turn out to be a very astute, retired accident attorney?
The ensuing lawsuit was a very painful experience, as the now-ex-friend joined with the attorney in a major lawsuit. The now-ex Good Samaritan was ultimately saddled with a judgment that would naturally take him half a lifetime to repay, since no one but Legal Aid would represent him.
But the beautiful young woman of his dreams would stand by him through thick and thin. In his dreams, of course. The moment she realized that her suitor was worse than broke, and that his ex-best friend was now on the verge of becoming a wealthy man, she did what every right-thinking girl would do. She married the ex-best friend and used the first payment from Our Hero’s judgment to buy themselves a neat little convertible for their honeymoon trip. And I’m getting pretty emotional as I relate this tender love story, so I’d better quit. But not before the happy ending.
Our Hero was a broken man, in more ways than one. But he remained a hard-working, God fearing individual, and he applied himself to his new-found goal of improving automobile safety. Among other devices, he invented an anti-skid system that would ensure the safety of any vehicle traveling in inclement weather. It became so popular that it’s patent was bought for an exorbitant sum, and Our Hero became a multi-millionaire. He then met and married an even richer widow, who adored him and showered him with all the love he had ever longed for. The only thing he ever heard about his ex-friend and his adorable lady was that they invested most of their money in the bitcoin market, and ultimately went totally bankrupt. And that was the happy ending. Karma strikes again!
George Thatcher
In the Spirit of the Holidays
December 2022
George is an American Bad Ass. He grew up in Jersey, flew B-52s in Vietnam, taught English, Spanish and other languages to children around the world, makes his own salsa, has been known to enjoy a beer or two and has called Lubbock home for a few years, just to entertain the locals. Welcome to Raiderland, Major. We are going to feature some of his writings going forward. Some new, some old. Some rhyme, some don’t. When it comes to George, there’s no box. So… enjoy our friend and enjoy his writings! – Hyatt
