Hi. I’m Scout. The Old Guy calls me a Cat-Dog but I’m a cat. For some reason, he’s letting me write a column each week on his writing box thing. So here we go. Week 2. I’m doing better than a lot of NFL QBs!
Last week I told you how I was taking over from the sad Beta-Dogs in the house I’ve decided to live in. They’re ok but they have no idea how to have fun and need to be learned up on a few things. First off, they know nothing about boxes.
One of the great things about the Nice Lady here at the house is that she brought out a bunch of cardboard boxes over the last month or so. She got tons of stuff out of them and put then on shelves and fake trees (don’t ask how I know it’s fake…) and all sorts of places. But then, there were these boxes laying around.
Thank you, Nice Lady!
You can do all sorts of things in a box. You can nap. My favorite. You can take a little fuzzy ball and push it around the floor and then you can put it in the box and nap. You can push the box itself around on the floor, then get the ball, then get in the box and then nap. You can get a sock stuck on your foot and then get in the box and then nap. The possibilities of the box are endless. Much like naps.
Now, let’s talk about the three dogs around the house I decided I would live in with the Nice Lady, the Old Guy and the Young Man…
They don’t understand the value of a box.
Just yesterday I watched the biggest dog, they call her Sayyyyydeee or something… and she just walked right by it. A great box!!! She could have sat in it, pushed it around, put a fuzzy ball in it, she could have done anything… and she just walked right by it and went and plopped down by the big thing the people sit on and watch the talking box at night.
That’s nothing. A while back, the littlest dog, they call her Suuuuuushee or something could have had a box with all sorts of colored crumpled up paper in it and the old dog just looked at it like yesterday’s news! Here were the Nice Lady, the Old Guy and the Young Man all just taking these boxes and ripping paper off them and just throwing it all in a box waiting for anyone, someone to play with it…. I passed out.
So yes, we have a box problem here at the house.
I can only sit in so many at one time.
I am worried though because the Nice Lady has been putting stuff in the boxes and then, wait for it… putting sticky tape things on the boxes and closing them and then taking them who knows where away from where a great cat can get in them. I’d file a grievance but I think I’m still on some sort of probationary deal with the people. I’ve been trying to get on the Writing Box the Old Guy uses that he allows me to write these columns and find out more, but I don’t want them to know I’m worried about my status.
Wait.What… Sorry, got distracted by a strange light in the area of the house they go when they want to eat. That’s another thing. They don’t eat what we eat. Sometimes they let me and the non-cats have a sample but I really want to know what these things are they called “Hot Wings” are the other night. I like birds. Birds have wings. Wings that are hot sound good. Again. Need to talk to my agent and see what my meal rights are regarding this. . .
Ok, so ya, the boxes. They keep going away. I feel like this was a bait and switch thing. They lure me in with the boxes, but then they keep getting put up.
Oh ya, and another thing. The bar of buttons they use to make the wall show different pictures and sounds… they need a new one. I tried standing on it and mashing on it like they do and it just kept showing the same thing. If I wanted to watch Food Network all day I’d have moved in with Rachel Ray. (Oh ya, we all know about her in the animal world. We talk. We know. )
That’s pretty much it for this week.
I did try going into the Young Man’s area of the house, but again, there was a strange smell coming out from under his door that made me nervous. Not saying he smells bad, but I tired dragging one of the things he puts on his feet around the house last week and had to stop when I passed out by the big machine that makes noise and they put clothes into it and then put them into another machine that makes noise and then they take the clothes out of that machine and put them on the place that they sometimes sit on when they are watching the picture box on the wall and then those clothes stay there a while and the Nice Lady tells the Old Guy to do something with the clothes …. Any how, I ain’t going in the Young Man’s space anytime soon.
Thanks for reading my column. The Old Guy is looking like he wants the Writing Box back again. If you have any questions for me, please send them to the Old Guy. Least he can do is pass them along. I’m keeping the Nice Lady happy by making weird noises when she holds me. The Old Guy seems to like it when the Nice Lady is happy.
Scout, The Cat-Dog.